Monday, March 7, 2011

Charlie Sheen: Rock Star

"Winning!" - Charlie Sheen

Is Charlie Sheen "winning"? Fucking-A right he is! As far as rock stars of old go -- your Keith Moon, your John Bonham, your Keith Richards circa 1967 to about the early 80's, -- Charlie is definitely representing old school style. Somewhere in sunny California, David Crosby is watching the latest Charlie Sheen televised post-bacchanal boast and weeping. To quote Andrew W.K., when movie and TV star Charlie Sheen "parties he parties HARD." (I wouldn't be surprised if the song is his ringtone.) To quote Charlie, he's "narly." In Charlie's eyes he's the narliest Narl in Narltown with his million-dollar home and duo of live-in "goddesses," one a model and the other a popular, now "retired," porn star. To use another colorful Charlie Sheen quote -- and there are so many God bless him -- he "struck the tri-state lotto" with these ladies. Before Charlie settled down in domestic bliss with his goddesses, he enjoyed the company of numerous porn stars and prostitutes, whom he paid upwards of $30,000 a pop for their, ahem, attention. Charlie has entertained so many women that Tiger Woods is smacking himself and Wilt Chamberlin is probably breakdancing in his grave. Charlie's infamously "epic" ingestion of narcotics is public record. One party guest and survivor of his latest binger that ended when paramedics came to his house described his cocaine use as "worse than Scarface." What makes Charlie most like a rock star is his defiant embrace of his vices. He does not apologize for being a bad boy at all. He celebrates it. In a recent interview with Howard Stern, Sheen summed up his high-risk lifestyle with a quote from a Clint Eastwood movie, "a man must know his limitations. Maybe it's his "tiger blood" or his "Adonis DNA" but Charlie Sheen is a man with no limits. In rock star terms, he's defintely "winning."

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